Happy New Year everyone!

I was thinking and reflecting some things happened to me last 2009 – 2010. If I am going to review my posts in my blogs, read my status in my face book account, all I can see is sadness 🙁  I was so depressed for almost a year starting last August 2009 till 1st quarter of 2010. That was the saddest stage of my life.. It’s not because of my husband and my kids, it’s just ME who had problem I guess.

Most of the people I’ve talk to said it’s normal for a stayed at home mom like me who has no social interaction in the real world. As a psychology graduate, I guess they maybe right.  For some reasons I forgot to go out, have fun and give myself some ME time. I dunno why I can’t go out without my husband with me. I dunno why I can’t feel happy and contented without him by my side. I guess his opportunity in US is a coincidence,  God wants me to practice to live without depending on my him. I know  that wanting to stay with your husband all the time is not bad but it’s not good and healthy anymore. I am hurting him and I am hurting myself too. I wanna thank my husband for being there no matter what happened. I wanna thank him for being so patient with me. Love is really powerful.

Now, is another year for me, a new HOPE.  I am hoping and trying to change everything in my life.  I wanna try not to become so SENSITIVE anymore. From now on, I wanted to use my mind and not my heart at all times. My emotions are killing me.  From now on, I wanted to continue loving myself more. I love my kids and husband but how can I love them If I don’t know how to love myself first right?

May GOD guide me always, give me strength and Bless me.

Happy New Year to us all!