Last March 20, 2009 was my dad’s 18th death anniversary. Yearly when I was still single, we used to cook at home anything that my family can share together. We we’re praying for him and sometimes my brother used to say “hala si papa dinadalaw tayu”. I miss those times! Last March I didn’t even prayed for him, or should I say I never remembered him! I’m so sorry papa! But you know in my heart that I love you so much. I miss you very much! I just tend to forget things. Wherever you are right now I know that you are happy, happy seeing us up there. Me, your panganay has already grown up, with husband and kids now. I am happy with my family and I am sure you’re happy for me too! I know you have lots of dreams for me, for my brothers and sister. I am sorry I didn’t able to help you fulfilled those dreams. I tried but they didn’t listen. I am still trying with Jayr, I may not providing his tuition fees but I am here to guide him, help him financially if there’s extra. I am hoping that he could also finish his college. I am also hoping that if he graduates, he could also help James and Jessa with their lives. I already have my own family, I can’t provide 100% help for them. I also have dreams for my family, I hope they understand. I was just disappointed to myself coz I didn’t finish my jplans for them before I raised my own. But you know papa, it all worth it, having a kids is really a great fullfilment for me. I am very happy. I am sure you can see me from there. Though, I supposed to help them, first, bring them to college, bought mama a house but for now, I can’t do those yet. I have my own plans for myself and for my family. How I wish I could still do those maybe if I am earning big. I do still want to continue those dreams for them. I hope God will let me. I miss you papa!