It’s been 18 years since my Papa passed away, he died from “bangungot”. I was 9 years old back then, no idea of what will be our life without him, no idea how hard to live without a father.
A Father who works hard for us so we could have a good education, so we could eat nutritious foods, buy our needs, buy our toys… a father that guides and protects us…..a father that teaches us in our lessons, a proud father whenever we have honors in school….a father that disciplines us…. and a father that could do everything for his family.
It’s very hard to live without a father in the family. But then we survived naman, our Mama strived hard on her own. She work hard kaya lang di pa din sapat. Kelangan pa namin maghiwa-hiwalay magkakapatid para lang mabuhay. I lived with my Mom’s parents in Laoag, Ilocos Norte, since when I was in 5th grade, my brothers are with my uncles and our bunso lived with my mom. Nagsama-sama lang kame lahat nung nasa college na ko and nag-aral dito sa Manila ulit. God is so good, kahit na nawalan kame ng AMA, kahit naghirap kame ng husto, kahit di namin naranasan ang mga luho, we grew strong naman. We surpassed every struggle that challenged us. But still, I can’t stop thinking what if he’s still here, what would our life be? Di b kame maghihirap sana? Mabibili na ba namin mga bagay na gusto namin? Makakapag-aral ba kame sa private school?
Kung ngayong may asawa na ko is he going to be happy with his apos? Or maybe di pa ko makakapg-asawa(he’s very strict kasi)? Makakapag aral kaya kaming makakapatid sa college?

There are lots of imagination in my thoughts. I’m dreaming of my father, especially now that christmas na naman….his birthday is DECEMBER 16, he’s 49 years old na sana. Namatay siya 31 years old palang siya. I only have few memories of him kasi naman bata pa ko noon. But those memories keeps on flashing in my mind and I can’t stop my tears . I am dreaming of him playing billiards with my husband (yun lang ang lam kong sports nya na hilig din ng hubby ko), I am also dreaming of him playing with his apos now.
How I wish he was still alive, but I know God has reasons, I know it’s all for our own good. It’s just that…. I’M MISSING YOU PAPA!