I found myself crying for some reason while preparing the ingredients of our dinner today. Was it the onion? Definitely NO, if I am a girl of many talents, cutting onion without crying is one of them. But I guess I have an idea – my birthday is coming so soon! Yeah, for real, I get very emotional when my birthday is coming. I don’t know, that is why I am asking myself why? What’s up with my birthday? Do I want something on my birthday? No, I am not that material girl or a childish person that wants present every birthday. I grew up with nothing and I am used to have no birthday celebration since my dad died.
Now this post is making me cry again coz I remembering the very last, vivid and only memory of my birthday with my dad. It was raining, yes it’s always raining on that month. I remember my dad brought home a rain boot as my present, I was so happy and very excited to go out and walk it through the muddy street where I used to then ride in his singe motorcycle. My brothers in front of my dad, then me behind him then my mom and my baby sister behind me, all six of us. Don’t ask me how we fit in there, we just did. I remember heading to my cousin’s house which birthday is just after mine and we used to celebrate together in my other cousins’ house. That’s the only birthday I remembered with him and when he died, I never had any party anymore. Or maybe there’s some simple celebration with my grandma or aunt where I lived with when my dad died. Maybe they prepared me something during my birthday or give me presents but honestly, I don’t know if I just don’t remember or there just isn’t any coz the next birthday I remember after was when I turned 18.
It was midterm, 1st year college. Nobody knew it was my birthday, we were all busy answering our test papers. I was trying to concentrate more on my test papers rather than concentrating on thinking how pathetic I was on my very special day. My 18th birthday, my debut, where I should be wearing a fancy dress, having a party, dancing with my 18 roses and listening to every greetings of my 18 candles, opening 18 gifts like other 18th birthday celebrators I knew did when they turned 18. Then I finally realized, I am not like them. I don’t have my dad anymore that used to give me a “Happy” Birthday! We can barely buy food to put on our table three times a day, very ambitious of me to dream of such fancy birthday. Then I finally came up to my senses, my friend Rose pulled me out of the road and told me I almost got hit by the tricycle thats passing through. Wow! I didn’t even know I was close to my house already. Good thing my friend commuted home with me, if not, maybe my 18th birthday will be a tragedy. Oh well, I’m still a lucky human being I guess coz aside from my friend saved my life, I went home with a family waiting for me. I saw a banner made of manila paper with HAPPY BIRTHDAY written with crayon and some drawings of my brothers for me. They are very creative , they even turned our meal (rice and small fried mackerel) into a pretend cake with candles, sang me a happy birthday song and made me pretend blow the candle (small mackerel sticking on top of the rice).They tried, it was a touching moment but I’m still sad. And that’s how my 18th birthday was. After that night, I promised to myself that once I get a job, I will definitely throw myself a party. So I did!
It was my 19th birthday, 2nd year college when I finally had my first “official” job in this fast food chain. I threw myself a party, I invited most of my classmates in college, my aunt cooked for me, bought alcoholic beverages (18 years old is the legal age in the Philippines to drink, so yey!) and had so much fun! It was unforgettable, my very first party since my dad died.
My 20-28th birthday celebrations was with my boyfriend (my husband now) . We both have the same birth month so we celebrated together, invited our common friends and again, had so much fun! My 28th birthday was kind of different. We were in two different sides of the world, he celebrated his with friends here in US and I celebrated mine in the Philippines. First with my girl friends, we ate out, had cake and lots of laughters and gifts! Then had another party at my cousins, after long long years, there I was celebrating it again with my cousin that I used to celebrate birthdays with when we were young. That was one wonderful party!
After my 19th birthday, I dreamt of having my 30th birthday celebrated in this food chain where most kids celebrate their birthdays. Yeah, youre right -it’s a kids party. Where theres party hats, cake and ice cream, mascot, party host and lots of foods, games and goodies I never had when I was a kid. That didn’t happen but God gave me a bigger and better blessing -moving here in US! I was able to celebrate my 3oth birthday in a different way to thank the Lord for my 30th year of existence in this world and shout out to everybody how blessed I am. I hosted an online giveaway to celebrate it with my blogger friends. I had a “YELLOW” themed party with our new family anf friends in Arkansas, I have this very pretty dream come true “TWEETY BIRD” cake made by a talented friend. And lots and lots of presents I’ve ever had in my life from different countries aside from US, SG, Japan and Philippines! It was a blast and I am overly HAPPY!
Then I turned 31. I was thinking, I was satisfied with my 30th birthday and I think I am not going to have any more party or atleast wait for another milestone – my 40th. But it’s my husband’s turn that year, it’s his 30th birthday so I threw him a supposedly “surprised” Star craft theme party but he has to know about it the day before the celebration because he needs to help me preparing haha! It was another fun filled party!
Last year I turned 32 and my husband 31. We didn’t plan on having a party but since we just moved to our new house, might as well have our “first birthday” in it. We had “Beer-Ger Party” , a burger party with beers! We had lots of visitors and lots of gifts. It was a very nice celebration, we really did party hard. I think most of us got pretty drunk!
So after reminiscing all those happy moments, I am again asking myself, why the birthday blues? Is it because my husband doesn’t wanna have a party this year? I can always have another party when I get back to work. Do I want a present? I can buy myself something, oh wait, I don’t have any money. Do I have something I feel like I haven’t accomplished at this age? Hmmm…aside from a tattoo? Nothing else. I can’t figure it out. I’m just having this very sad feeling that I can’t get out of my system. I am convincing myself theres nothing to be sad about so I am hoping this will go away soon!
And here it is….”Fifty Shades of Grey” trailer and will be in cinemas on February 2015! It’s been 2 years since husband and I went to watch a movie in cinema for some of his ridiculous reasons. Well this year, I will force him to come with me and watch this movie. Yep, that’s right, I won’t miss this, I will let him mark his calendar for this, it’s a date! I can’t wait! Watching this TRAILER gives me goosebumps! So that’s how it feels huh, to watch a movie that you’ve already read from the book. I hope this won’t disappoint my expectations, it should be better that my imagination. I am hoping for that.
My life is far way better than what I’ve expected. I dreamed and worked hard all my life. Struggled and experience so many things that I am not sure if how many people can endure. I am sure there are more lives that gone worst than what I’ve been through. For me, my life has been like a roller coaster. So many Ups and Downs, lots of excitement as I call all my struggles and hardships. With all that experiences, I am very grateful for what I have right now! First I am very thankful to have a loving, caring and responsible HUSBAND, which is all responsible for all the blessings we are receiving everyday, Im also grateful for my beautiful and healthy kids. A house that is 10 times bigger for my family compare to what I had before. Our everyday foods not only on our table but also in our fridge and pantry, we didn’t have storage of food before not even a pinch of salt. If you don’t work, you will not eat. That’s how we lived. I am also thankful for the bonus blessings in our life, for the entertainments and gadgets that my family is enjoying everyday and so many more that sometimes, I tend to forget and take for granted and I hate myself for that. I feel overly blessed already and I am very grateful but forgive me Lord for I have to ask for more…. I pray for my love ones to also experience what I am experiencing. To also have a nice comfortable place to sleep in when they are tired. Some food to eat when they are starving. And most of all, I pray for them to have more FAITH, COURAGE, PERSEVERANCE so they will achieve all their DREAMS.
Thank you Lord for your Love!
Here’s a song that I saw in my timeline this morning that is worth sharing…enjoy listening!
Sitting in the dining room staring at the white window drapes while enjoying the sound of the fan whirring behind me. It’s 7:15 in the morning, Tuesday, kids are on summer break but hubby still needs to go to work and that is why I am awake since 6:30. My coffee is still hot I can’t take a sip yet. Ah– I wanna go back to bed… but I don’t want to. That is why I am right in front of my mac air right now letting my mind flow while my fingers documenting it and then suddenly my blood is flowing little by little and thinking what should I do today. I am done with my landscape project in our front house but I am still itching to do some more gardening. I know I still have pending projects in our backyard but what can I do I don’t have enough resources yet, Ill wait til next payday and I’ll ask hubby about it (big grin). So instead of planning for today’s agenda, I’ll just plan on what to do this summer before kids go back to school on August 1st. Yep, you read that right, August 1st is the NON TRADITIONAL schools first day! Like what I already planned, I have activities and schedule for the kids to follow everyday. I know it sounds like “not fun” at all but I am trying to make their days exciting like let them play minecraft the whole morning ( looks very long but trust me it’s still not long enough for them) since it’s summer break! Aside from activities planned, Annual Physical is part of it. Yep, we wanna make sure our kids are in good shape. Fieldtrips and attending local activities in our city is also part of my plan aside from swimming and biking ofcourse! And lastly, my favorite (what I have in mind so far) is shopping! Quarterly, we are shopping for new clothes, kids are getting bigger and bigger every year, they need new shoes, new set of clothes and undies. Not just for kids but for my me and my husband as well. I would need some summer tops and shorts, my clothes are either shrinking or I am just gaining too much weight! I also need to buy some ——- oh my husband is leaving now, let me walk him to the garage and kiss him goodbye! Blog more later! Happy TUESDAY!!!!
I got invited to perform in a program at WALMART held last Thursday, May 22 at Walmart Home Office with our fellow Filipinas here in Arkansas. Yearly, they are celebrating APAN (Asian Pacific Associates Network) where all 13 countries were being showcased.
At first, I have no clue how it’s gonna be and who’s going to watch, I just said yes to a friend that’s asking a favor and when I finally learned it’s going to be in a big audtorium with lots of people and even being telecast/aired in several walmart offices from different States, I suddenly felt so nervous. It’s been a long time since I felt that feeling, that was when I was in college with my dance troupe waiting to perform in a dance competition! But I’m glad we did very good and gave a good entertainment. It’s been a long time since I heard that kind of applause. It was really a fun experience. I’m glad I said yes to my friend. Here’s a video taken by a friend that I am proud to share and show to all of you…..
I always dreamed of becoming a writer someday. I was a school paper writer when I was in Elementary to College but it’s always written in our own Language which is Filipino. I also wrote short stories for our play in school several times and there’s this one time, I wrote a themed script used in a “Skit Competetion” and we won! I was so happy and proud as one of the main character who acted on stage and at the same time, I was acknowledged as the writer of that script. I only writes in English for Poems and News coz I must admit, I am not that good at it. I wanted to learn more but I guess my passion is not that strong because I didn’t pursue it or maybe I am just lazy, I don’t know. Well. well, those were the days….and that is also the main reason of the topic I am writing right now - how I started to blog.
2008 when I am still using FRIENDSTER and doesn’t know FACEBOOK yet. There’s this portion of this social media where you can post a blog aside from sharing pictures and videos of your everyday life to your friends. I started reading some of my friends blog there and I was inspired, I wanted to start mine but I am kinda shy and afraid to critisize by people who can read it. So I didn’t do it. Then I started reading some of my friends blogs in blogspot and also saw my sister in law’s blog and I was so amzed and inspired of her writings but still didn’t get me to do it. Then one day, my friend told me more about her blogs and shared to me her EARNINGS in dollars and that immediately kicked my shy side and my business minded side came out! I was a stay at home mom and I needed it. I was just starting in real estate this very moment so I don’t have much income yet and I feel like blogging will add up some so after hearing this news from my friend, I headed to blogger.com, create my account and started writing without thinking of what others would think about my writings. I don’t care…all I am thinking that time is to earn from blogging! Money is really a ROOT of SOMETHING! And that is good I guess coz since then, I am a happy stay at home mom and got to buy stuff for myself and my kids while staying at home enjoying life with my kids.
This is my very first blog – My Little Angels which is now My Little Angels in America . This is where I documented my kids stuff about everything. When they wanna look back they can always go to this site and read what mommy was telling the whole world about them. I stopped blogging when I start working in 2012- 2013 and now that I am back, it’s all fresh start, updating my multiple sites and start enjoying free stuff!!!
Sunday Morning. Usually Saturday and Sunday are the only days I wanted to wake up late. My kids are waking up earlier than me but they never bother to wake me up and look for food coz they already know where to look for breakfast. I love my cereal dispenser!
Today though was the first time my son woke me up but I didn’t get up. He came back again and told me he’s hungry. Since I am already awake, I just stood up and head to the kitchen and smelled some food- they surprised me with breakfast! The kids cooked it themselves but ofcourse with the help of their dad. It was a pleasant surprise. Once in a while I also wanted to have some breaktime from the kitchen and this was a great gift a mom would ever wanted.
Breakfast with Notes from the kids
I am a mom for more than 8 years now and counting and I am loving every bits of it. I may have some difficulties and received lots of stress raising them, disciplining them but the happiness it’s giving me is all worth it. I am so lucky I am a stay at home mom again for I have more time to spend with my kids to engage and be part of their everyday life. This is the best career ever!
Photos taken at my kids school celebrating MOM’s DAY
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL MOM!!!!!
Fairy Hobmother visited me for the third time!!! I am indeed lucky to receive another GIFT just in time for the New Year!
I am sure you know what’s with the FAIRY HOBMOTHER right? Oh come on! Everyone is talking about him. He’s a fairy to all bloggers like me out there who has lots of fairy overlords online! If you don’t know him yet and y0u are wanting to meet him, follow him on twitter
@Fairyhobmother or just leave a comment in this post with your website and who knows, you might be the next lucky Blogger to receive a gift from the fairy hobmother!
So what are you waiting for…COMMENT and TWEET now!!!